tonight's 9pm show on Channel 8, shows chen han wei being informed by the doctor about having lung cancer. After that, he went into the toilet to cry. Seeing this scene, I suddenly remembered the time when you had your first heart attack.
Although you recovered somewhat in the hospital, and was resting at home, I know you were very very afraid that the next attack comes and then you do not wake up. I know you're very afraid because every night you demand that I wait for you to fall asleep before I can sleep.
I even remember the nights when you simply cry and cry because you're so frighten that you'll just die and leave behind everything, especially your mum. You said that she's the person that you're most worried about since she'll be alone in Singapore if that happens. That scene was so vivid in my mind now.
I remember telling you that you have to recover so that you can continue to take care of your mum, and I'm glad you eventually did recover, at least on the surface.
It so strange that after one year from the attack, we totally forgot that your health is actually still so delicate. I guess we were so looking forward to the baby that made us ignore all other things. At least that's what happened to me. I wonder if you ever thought about it.
Sometimes, I hate myself for being so forgetful. Forgetful that your health is so delicate. Forgetful that I should remind you to rest more.
Now it's too late.
And I can only seek solace in whatever religion that can offer me the best advise.
I hope I find it.
Watch over me, dear.
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