不在乎天长地久，只在乎曾经拥有
Is this how I should think?
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Living life to the fullest
Dear,
I was watching the 9pm show on channel 8 this evening.
Fann Wong showed a teenage girl a little girl who has cancer and diabetes.
This little girl has undergone many major and minor ops and suffer more pain than most of us ever known. She do not know when she's gonna die, yet, from her vibrant ad colorful paintings, it can be seen that she's enjoying each and everyday.
I think back to 2 months ago, and somehow felt that you seems to have acted a little differently from normal. You showed more energy and actively took care of Evan and do many things which you'll usual not do.
Did you know your time is running out, and decided to do as much, live as much, as you can?
If you did, I bet you must have enjoyed your life (even your work) to the fullest until the time you collapse. Most people would have been suffering in bed in the last hours of their life. I should be glad that you did not have to suffer that way.
Sigh, while that might have been the best for you, your abrupt leaving, left me with void so suddenly, that it seems to be sucking the life out of me. I really miss you, dear. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you so much. So much. So much.
I was watching the 9pm show on channel 8 this evening.
Fann Wong showed a teenage girl a little girl who has cancer and diabetes.
This little girl has undergone many major and minor ops and suffer more pain than most of us ever known. She do not know when she's gonna die, yet, from her vibrant ad colorful paintings, it can be seen that she's enjoying each and everyday.
I think back to 2 months ago, and somehow felt that you seems to have acted a little differently from normal. You showed more energy and actively took care of Evan and do many things which you'll usual not do.
Did you know your time is running out, and decided to do as much, live as much, as you can?
If you did, I bet you must have enjoyed your life (even your work) to the fullest until the time you collapse. Most people would have been suffering in bed in the last hours of their life. I should be glad that you did not have to suffer that way.
Sigh, while that might have been the best for you, your abrupt leaving, left me with void so suddenly, that it seems to be sucking the life out of me. I really miss you, dear. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you so much. So much. So much.
Monday, March 28, 2011
Dear,
I was watching the 9pm show on channel 8 this evening.
Chen Han Wei's wife had a neck injury and need to wear neck support.
She was feeling down and wanted to go back to the room to rest.
Chen Han Wei said something funny, and she smiled and asked him not to make her laugh.
At that, I remembered the time you had appendicitis.
After the operation, the scar was painful.
When I joked with you, you tried not to laugh and told me not to make you laugh.
But yet, I know you like the way I entertain you.
Life was so nice and blissful then. I felt your happiness and was happy that I could make you happy.
Sigh, if only time would go back.
I was watching the 9pm show on channel 8 this evening.
Chen Han Wei's wife had a neck injury and need to wear neck support.
She was feeling down and wanted to go back to the room to rest.
Chen Han Wei said something funny, and she smiled and asked him not to make her laugh.
At that, I remembered the time you had appendicitis.
After the operation, the scar was painful.
When I joked with you, you tried not to laugh and told me not to make you laugh.
But yet, I know you like the way I entertain you.
Life was so nice and blissful then. I felt your happiness and was happy that I could make you happy.
Sigh, if only time would go back.
Dinner Dream
Dear,
I dream of you again last night.
It seems it's always on sunday or monday nigths.
This time, we going to have some dinner at some place that requires us to queue for entry.
Seems like it needs SAFRA card or each of us, probably for some discount or something.
As I rushed to the place, I forgotten to bring one of the 2 SAFRA cards that we had.
I thought of going back to get it but as I rushed for time, I did not - hoping for the best.
Some how, Feima was helping to queue for us in advance.
I reached there first and accompanied Feima as we waited for you.
Later on, you arrived.
It seems you've not seen Feima for some time, and started asking her about how had she been.
I told you that I have forgotten one of the cards, but you said that we just need to pay extra.
Some how, I gradually woke up at this point.
The difference is that I did not realized you were dead like what happened previously.
I wonder why.
I guess this dream was probably due to the lunch I had with Dennis and Kai Chee that day.
I was imagining, maybe longing, for a romantic dinner with you.
Sigh, I did not even have a chance to celebrate our Anniversary and Valentines day with you this year.
I dream of you again last night.
It seems it's always on sunday or monday nigths.
This time, we going to have some dinner at some place that requires us to queue for entry.
Seems like it needs SAFRA card or each of us, probably for some discount or something.
As I rushed to the place, I forgotten to bring one of the 2 SAFRA cards that we had.
I thought of going back to get it but as I rushed for time, I did not - hoping for the best.
Some how, Feima was helping to queue for us in advance.
I reached there first and accompanied Feima as we waited for you.
Later on, you arrived.
It seems you've not seen Feima for some time, and started asking her about how had she been.
I told you that I have forgotten one of the cards, but you said that we just need to pay extra.
Some how, I gradually woke up at this point.
The difference is that I did not realized you were dead like what happened previously.
I wonder why.
I guess this dream was probably due to the lunch I had with Dennis and Kai Chee that day.
I was imagining, maybe longing, for a romantic dinner with you.
Sigh, I did not even have a chance to celebrate our Anniversary and Valentines day with you this year.
Friend's of Jelita
Dear, do you remember the Friend's of Jelita restuarant in Jelita building.
I went there with Dennis and Kai Chee yesterday to have lunch. Dennis just returned from trip and came with Kai Chee to visit me to see how I was doing after you've left. They asked me where (nearby) I would like to go for lunch and I suggest Friend's of Jelita since it's some place we thought of going to previously.
Back then, we visited Jelita only for its cold storage and watson to get Evan's stuffs. We were always rushing since we felt guilty about going out and enjoying ourselves and leaving you mum at home with Evan. Now that I think back, what's a couple hours gonna help with? Even if we're concerned about saving money, what's a good meal once in a while gonna do to our savings. These private couple time is just as essential, no matter what's our responsibilities and liabilities. If only I think through these earlier. At least we could have spent more time together.
I don't remember Friend's of Jelita as a very expensive place; or at least that's what the deco suggested. But when we went there yesterday, I realised, that it's more posh than I rememberred it to be. I thought I might have brought them to some expensive place. Turns out the price isn't very expensive. It's cheaper than say Bistro 301 at Pasir Panjang. Of course, we were having their set lunch, which could be the reason why it was cheaper.
When we went in, what we saw all around were couples and more couples. We were the only 3-guy group in the whole restuarant. Think Dennis and Kai Chee must have been feeling rather awkward about that. i was rather sad because all those couples reminded me of us, and how it can never happen anymore. I kept those feelings to myself as I do not want them to worry.
Anyway, the foods not too bad. The set lunch is a 3-course meal with pretty small portions. But surprisingly, I felt full after everything. On the whole, not a bad place for food and ambience; If only I could go with you...
I went there with Dennis and Kai Chee yesterday to have lunch. Dennis just returned from trip and came with Kai Chee to visit me to see how I was doing after you've left. They asked me where (nearby) I would like to go for lunch and I suggest Friend's of Jelita since it's some place we thought of going to previously.
Back then, we visited Jelita only for its cold storage and watson to get Evan's stuffs. We were always rushing since we felt guilty about going out and enjoying ourselves and leaving you mum at home with Evan. Now that I think back, what's a couple hours gonna help with? Even if we're concerned about saving money, what's a good meal once in a while gonna do to our savings. These private couple time is just as essential, no matter what's our responsibilities and liabilities. If only I think through these earlier. At least we could have spent more time together.
I don't remember Friend's of Jelita as a very expensive place; or at least that's what the deco suggested. But when we went there yesterday, I realised, that it's more posh than I rememberred it to be. I thought I might have brought them to some expensive place. Turns out the price isn't very expensive. It's cheaper than say Bistro 301 at Pasir Panjang. Of course, we were having their set lunch, which could be the reason why it was cheaper.
When we went in, what we saw all around were couples and more couples. We were the only 3-guy group in the whole restuarant. Think Dennis and Kai Chee must have been feeling rather awkward about that. i was rather sad because all those couples reminded me of us, and how it can never happen anymore. I kept those feelings to myself as I do not want them to worry.
Anyway, the foods not too bad. The set lunch is a 3-course meal with pretty small portions. But surprisingly, I felt full after everything. On the whole, not a bad place for food and ambience; If only I could go with you...
Friday, March 25, 2011
6 Weeks Ago
Dear,
6 weeks ago, at this time, we were happily enjoying our short period of freedom at TESCO, then a baby shop, where we bought the play mat for Evan. Then you decided that you have not eaten "lok lok" for a long long time and we went for some. I even burnt my hand on the side of the metal pot, but the scar is gone now. We were so enjoying ourselves that you warned me not to mentioned "lok lok" to your mum in case she scolds us for not bringing her along.
sigh... 6 weeks ago.
who would have know you will leave all of us behind just 5 days after that.
i still missed you so badly.
do you know that since I knew you, my life revolved around doing things to make you happy.
I've done so much with you in mind, that now, everywhere I turn to, there're things that remind me of you and what I had done for you. I've also lost interest in many things, even techie stuffs which I was so interested in prevously. This is because, you're no longer around to enjoy them with me.
I missed you so badly
I missed you soo badly
6 weeks ago, at this time, we were happily enjoying our short period of freedom at TESCO, then a baby shop, where we bought the play mat for Evan. Then you decided that you have not eaten "lok lok" for a long long time and we went for some. I even burnt my hand on the side of the metal pot, but the scar is gone now. We were so enjoying ourselves that you warned me not to mentioned "lok lok" to your mum in case she scolds us for not bringing her along.
sigh... 6 weeks ago.
who would have know you will leave all of us behind just 5 days after that.
i still missed you so badly.
do you know that since I knew you, my life revolved around doing things to make you happy.
I've done so much with you in mind, that now, everywhere I turn to, there're things that remind me of you and what I had done for you. I've also lost interest in many things, even techie stuffs which I was so interested in prevously. This is because, you're no longer around to enjoy them with me.
I missed you so badly
I missed you soo badly
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Baby lullabies
Evan was sleeping on the way home from SAFRA, so I thought I play the baby lullabies to let him sleep better. All was fine all the way back to the carpark where everyone dropped off.
Alone, I drove the car up the carpark to find a lot. Along the way, I recalled the period when Evan just came and I always play these baby lullabies to help him sleep. We used to lay him on our bed and lie down on either side of him to accompany him while the music played. Life was so blissful with you and Evan next to me.
I missed you so badly, dear.
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