The day my life changes

It was CNY 2011 and we as a family were happily immerse in the festive mood around us.

During the last few months, my mother in law has been living with us at my parents house to help take care of Evan. To my MIL, please accept my great gratitude for this sacrifice you've made for Kuan Yee and myself.

While KY have not said anything, I do know that this sacrifice you made has made her very happy and relief. It definitely beats the other options like rearing Evan in Ipoh or even rearing Evan at MIL's house. To show our appreciation, we did our best to quickly find a maid to help you with taking care of Evan. Unfortunately, fortune is not with us and we repeatedly missed opportunities while waiting for one which eventually did not qualify.

We had the best of time in Ipoh enjoying our CNY break. It was tiring cos we relief MIL from taking care of Evan during this period. It was tiring, but we were enjoying every bit of it; even stealing time, while Evan is asleep, to be intimate. It was a very happy time indeed.

Back in Singapore, we were looking forward to working. Not that working is fun, but that with that, MIL will resume taking care of Evan and we can get some much needed rest.

14 Feb 2011.

It's our first day of work since CNY and we're busy as usual preparing ourselves for work; but we never forget to giving Evan a loving hug before we leave. Who would have known that will be the last hug from Evan's loving mummy.

Knowing it was valentines day, I took a quick lunch and quick went out to buy the rose (soft toy) I faithfully got her every valentines day. I gotten more this time. How surprise she would be to find roses in her drawer later this evening.

After lunch, KY sms'ed me telling me the maid had failed her test. We texted a few rounds to discuss the way ahead and suddenly KY stopped replying. This is not strange to me since her phone is always busy. I continued with my work and waited.

30 min later, her colleagues called to say that they've found her collapsed at her desk and had called for an ambulance. This is also not strange to me. 3 years ago, she collapsed for the first time and was when she was found to have irregular heartbeat - the fatal type. But, I thought that like the last time, she'll wake up after a while and by the time I reached hospital, I'll be able to see her tired face, consoling her, telling her I'm around and not to be afraid.

I was wrong.

Her heart had stopped and with great effort from the docs, KY's heart managed to resume beating. However, the heart is weak and medication have to be administered to maintain her blood pressure. Her lungs is also not moving and machines have to be used to keep her breathing. Doctors cautioned that this is probably the last 48 hours of her life.

We did not believe.

We know that there's noting science can do, so MIL and I turned to the super natural in hope for a solution. We toiled for the next 2 days, seeking help from many masters and their deities. It gave us hope. We were able to remain strong for KY. Staying at her side, touching her, calling out to her continuously, in hope of reviving her.

However, she never woke up. Deep down, I know her situation is getting worse. The medication administered gets stronger and stronger, and finally...

16 Feb 2011
(early morning)

The doctors ran out of options.
My brother in law and I quickly gathered the family members, for our last goodbyes to KY.

Finally, the doctors came out, I knew this was it. Oh god, the pain was so great I could not breathe.

Dear,
everyone was there to see you
Your mum and dad, your brother, your cousins and relatives, my cousins and relatives, my mum and dad, our boy, and me.
If you could sensed us in your last moments, I'll be very relief that our love could accompany you as you departed.